If you are the hurt party in a rough breakup, the first thought on your mind may be about how to win your ex back… but is getting your ex back really the best thing for you? Or is it possible that you’re just seeing your ex in a solely positive light and all of the bad and hurtful things they did are no longer relevant in your mind. Maybe they were verbally abusive or they cheated on you. Regardless of how you’re feeling at the moment, now is an opportunity for you to do some serious thinking and take stock, as opposed to making any rash decisions on rekindling what might have been an awful relationship.
How to Win Your Ex Back: Being Objective
Try to think as objectively as possible. Did your partner really make your life better? Did they contribute to the quality of your life? Are you overvaluing your ex because you’re afraid of being alone?
When it comes to winning your ex back, never beg. If it’s a relationship with potential, you need to avoid doing certain things in order to win back their love. One thing to keep in mind is that it’s very important that you keep your dignity. You might not care at the moment, but you will later on and if you do win back your ex, you’ll resent them for making you beg for another shot.
Trying to get back an ex by playing games is definitely the wrong way to go about winning them back. Trying to make them jealous by casually dating someone else can also blow up in your face if you do end up working it out and it can ultimately cause trust and insecurity issues.
Even if it doesn’t feel that way at the moment, you can live without your ex. Threatening, crying and screaming at your ex will only make them feel both pressured and manipulated. This can result in reinforcing the reasons why they felt that the relationship needed to end. Do you really want to be with someone who feels like they were forced to be with your because they thought you might do something to harm yourself?
Making Changes for a Lasting Relationship
Show your ex you have truly changed, don’t just tell them. If your ex constantly had complaints regarding
some aspect of your relationship, making changes in yourself and sticking to them might just be what it takes
to make the relationship work, however, you should also take into consideration whether or not you really want or need to change.
If your ex was the person to end the relationship, it may be due to a number of reasons. They might have met someone new, or maybe they felt like they worked too hard at the relationship and received nothing in return. Maybe they need to learn that no relationship is perfect. If you remain in contact with your ex, try not to bring up past arguments or put any blame on them. Instead, talk about how you still want a future with them and let them know that you’ll put in the work that’s needed for a lasting relationship, should they give you another chance.